Problèmes de Famille

I spoke too soon. Being thankful for my family needs to be rethought, or readdressed, or both. Today was dinner at the aunt's house, and I wish I'd stayed home instead.

Every year we go to my mom's sister's house, usually for Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and a couple other occasions in between. The last couple years we've started to have our own dinners, and sometimes skip the visit to the relatives. That is what I wanted to do this Thanksgiving, but due to the recent death of my aunt's best friend KJ, my mom wanted to be with her sister. Understandable, but even so, I would have gladly chosen my bed over a family dinner. I am fighting a vicious head cold, which may be a sinus infection, and it is wiping me out.

Another reason I wanted to stay home was the way my grandmother treats the kids on my side of the family. She does not like Tristan, and nephew Little Kub doesn't exist in her mind. Montana is somewhat tolerable, as long as she doesn't do anything or say anything. My cousin J has two children now, aged 3 and 2, and in my grandmother's eyes, they are God's little angels. Nevermind the fact that they are toddlers and get into trouble--these little stories are cute as far as she is concerned.

I clean my grandmother's house a couple times a month, and I have to hear all about those kids, all the while she pretends Tristan and Kub don't exist. I bite my tongue and bear it because she is almost 80 and I have had a fairly good relationship with her. I accepted long ago that this is how it will always be.

Today, however, she went too far. After dinner we were sitting in the living room at my aunt's house watching the kids play. The three year old brought out a beach ball, and Kub was playing with it. Tristan came and wanted to play with him, so he was kicking the ball to 16 month old Kub, who was laughing hysterically as he always does when the kids play with him. Apparently this was so offensive to my grandmother that she jumped out of her chair and took the ball away, and started yelling at Tristan. My mom and I were dumbfounded, though not surprised. I spoke up and started defending my little brother, and told her she could at least pretend to like the boy for one day out of the year. For this I was called an "asshole" by my own grandmother. I was then shoved by my cousin and told to "take it outside," despite trying to explain what was happening.

Needless to say, we are no longer going to any family functions. I also will not be cleaning her house anymore. I need to make a stand that this behavior is not acceptable, no matter what her age is. Tristan has to come first, in spite of the fallout.

Tomorrow we will be holding our own Thanksgiving meal, the way it should be: Just our little family of six. Hopefully it will erase all the horrible memories of tonight.