You know how teenagers are thought to feel invincible--that nothing will ever happen to them? I realize now that I may have been guilty of that. However, it wasn't my life that I saw as unchanging; it was my daughter's. Montana was born almost eight years ago, and for some reason I built a little bubble around her and myself in which she would never change nor grow. When she started Kindergarten I saw her as a grown-up little woman; a baby who didn't need me anymore. That was three years ago. Today was Montana's first full day of Grade Three. Imagine my grief! Every year she grows closer to independence and farther from my protection. It isn't that I want to shelter her forever (lie) or keep her from aging (bigger lie) but I wish it would slow down just a smidge!
Montana has attended the same school since Kindergarten, and has had the same best friend. The two girls have been inseparable for two years, always having the same teacher. This year there may be a chance they won't be in the same class, and I worry! Montana had a good day today but was disappointed that she wasn't in the same group as her friend, and I would hate to see her sad going into this grade. We will know by the end of this week, and I'm keeping fingers crossed!
With a new school year comes change of routine, change of seasons, and change of moods. This afternoon Montana played a game on Playstation 2, one that frequently tests her patience. I always wonder why she continues to try this T-for-Teen rated game. I voiced my confusion by asking her why she plays this particular game. Her response: "Because I like it." Yes, I can tell by the tears rolling down your cheeks, dear. Oh the next few weeks will be a thrill.
I hope third grade brings her much joy and challenges despite my mixed feelings. She is a fantastic reader, one of the best in her Grade two class, and I hope she finds enough to sate her appetite.
When she was in Kindergarten I realized that Montana did indeed still need me, and I know that won't change for years to come.
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