And now it is time for the comedown. Happiness in my life is typically short-lived; nothing I do to bring myself down, I suppose it is just Murphy's Law.
It is Hump Day, I have the weekend in my sights and I'm searching for party lights. On a good note, I drove to work today in my new car! I am getting the hang of the clutch-gas relationship, and I stalled just once. I am really enjoying this piece of machinery!
The thing that is bringing me down is that I haven't heard from Mr Hottie since my last blog post. I am trying not to overreact, but it seems to me that if he really is interested in me, shouldn't he be messaging me back, trying to set up a date? Or phoning me? Or something?
I'm not sure why I let these things get me down, but I sure do. I attribute some of it to running out of antidepressants for almost a week and then taking two in one day; I have experienced some rough ups and downs in the past. But for the most part I think it's just a wounded heart. For some silly reason I actually believed that he was into me! Gosh!
I go for some time between boyfriends, and even dates for that matter. I try to find logic in things, and really I should just let them be. I would take some of the blame for this particular letdown if I had sought out Mr Hottie, be it online or in the bar. However, this was a complete fluke meeting, and I am now wondering why on Earth I had to even lay eyes on that man.
I have had very few relationships, and I honestly believe I am meant to be single. I hope to never hear words that praise my worthiness, or promises that I will find someone, "Someday." Perhaps not everyone is on such a path, maybe I am one of the unlucky few who must plan a future alone. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with that, but it definitely isn't something I was aiming for.
There is a chance that Mr Hottie is legitimately busy and will get back to me soon, but how can I know for sure? Should I really give him the benefit of the doubt and go on a date, just to set myself up for more agony later?
I shall now be Ms. SingleMama.
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:D I wouldn't give up on relationships but you are doing yourself a favor but being strong and independent. I think you have a great outlook on it and that dd of yours is learning one of the best lessons by it. Strong women are AWESOME
ReplyDeleteWow Mishie, thank you, that means a lot to me!!! <3
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