Repose en paix

When my aunt was in school, she met a girl named Karen J, who interestingly had the same last name as my grandmother--my aunt's mother. They became best friends, and remained so for the next 40 + years. My mom also became friends with KJ despite their nine year age difference, and because of this I have many memories of her. My mom told my brother DW and me that KJ tried to convince her to name DW "Harpo," and even had a T-shirt made when he was a baby!

When I was eleven, we spent a week and a half with KJ. She had moved 12 hours away from us to a lovely town where she had a house so big I thought it was a mansion, and even owned part of the lake abutting her property. I was very impressed, and had a great vacation there. I even earned money by brushing KJ's hair every evening!

At the time KJ was a foster parent, and was taking care of a little girl named Melissa. I was told by another girl my age that Melissa was an annoying brat, but I completely disagreed after spending time with her. She had many issues, but was a sweetheart and she and I bonded immediately. One night KJ had to go out and I was in charge of putting Melissa to bed, and from that night on she called me "Mommy." I was thrilled.

We found out the horrors Melissa's "parents" leashed on her, including calling her a "Little Cocksucker," leaving her in diapers for days at a time, and having sex in front of her. She was behind developmentally, and had other issues as well that I cannot remember now.

It was difficult to leave; I cried, and was quite sad for some time after saying goodbye to Melissa. A couple years later, KJ adopted the little girl, and I knew she would have a wonderful future. KJ was her angel.

A few years ago KJ got sick. Cancer. I hadn't seen her in a decade, which from what I hear is a good thing; apparently she didn't look quite the same, she was very ill.

My grandmother called this morning to tell us that sadly, KJ passed away. She was admitted last night and died this morning.

Our family is heartbroken. Heaven definitely gained an angel.

RIP Karen J
1959-2009

Here is KJ's obituary:

KJ May 9, 1949 - September 6, 2009 With rum and coke in hand, smile on her face and a mind to conquer all - KJ joined the big conga line in the sky leaving a huge hole in all our lives. From Bohemian roots to mother to all, KJ was the driving force behind so many. Born 17 months behind sister Alex, KJ spent her youth surrounded by all things theatrical and literary. Well-loved and well-learned she took to the world and explored England and Europe, making lifelong and lasting connections everywhere she went. Upon completion of her and Wally's log house she opened house and heart to those who didn't have either. KJ fostered kids for days, weeks, months, years and subsequently a lifetime. After moving, she built her lakeside haven, leaving the front door open, the fire burning and the wine flowing, where she and Melissa soon found each other, grafting their own branch to their family tree. KJ's endless supply of generosity and love soon brought Donny, Terry and Joey to live with them. Fulfilling her lifetime dream of living in Mexico, KJ spent the majority of this past year living "la vida buena" in Mazatlan. Somehow, during all this, KJ's competitive and stubborn nature drove her to become a writer, pine needle basket weaver, rock painter, sailor, consummate dieter, stained glass artist, memory-maker, irreverent card buyer and Boggle-Crib-Crap on your neighbour Scrabble champion, among many. Above all, KJ was sister, mother, aunt, stepmother, and forever foster-mother. KJ held an unbroken bond of friendship with too numerous to list. Also cousins in the USA, and friends worldwide.