Bons Amis

Good friends are hard to come by. Oh so true.

In the past few years I have met a lot of people. Most of them are great, some are amazing, and some are undefined. I try to offer support to anyone who needs it, especially people I care about.

Sometimes I need support myself, which I'm sure has been evident in the previous weeks if you have read my blog, so I turn to my friends. Some, like Rose and DM, are extremely understanding. Others, not so much. One particular person comes to mind; I will call her Buffy--thanks to DM for that suggestion!

My first impression of Buffy was less than, well, impressive, but I gave her a chance, and through the Internet we became fairly close. Not close enough that I would tell her everything, but close enough that we talk on a semi-daily basis. She always offers Internet "hugs" and "I Love You"'s, but that's where it ends.

Over the past six months, Buffy's marriage has been rocky, and I am the person she runs to. I always talk to her as long as she needs, and I make her feel better as best I can. She can talk endlessly about her problems, and I don't stop her, because I know how much better a person can feel after talking it all out.

I usually keep my darkest feelings from her, because I know she won't take them seriously or give me the support I need. However, I naively thought that this particular problem would be best solved with more opinions, or possibly a blind date. I told her how desperately I wanted to be pregnant, and how deep my depression has been lately. What I got in return was "Aw hugs," and a subject change to something trivial she's been dealing with.

What kind of friendship is this? She acted like I told her my light burnt out. Normally I can deal with her lack of compassion because I expect it, but right now I need all the support I can get.

I am doing better than I was a few days ago, but having Buffy pop up on my screen to tell me how angry she was because someone called her at 11:00 PM makes me realize how little she respects me and my feelings.

Thankfully, minutes before this important phone-call discussion, DM told me any child would be lucky to have me as a mother. That more than makes up for fair weather friends and their "hugs." <3 I am a lucky girl.